Yes, another chatting agency telling you to hand over 20% of your revenue, telling you to ‘only worry about traffic’ while ‘we handle the rest.’ How can there be so many chatting agencies, but so little success stories? Why do LTVs usually nosedive, not increase, when a so-called chatting specialist takes over? Are all chatting agencies sadistic, devil-worshipping scum?
We are well aware that this is a market saturated with sub-par, poorly-managed ‘companies,’ that usually sell a dream of $40+ LTVs – probably before even inquiring about your traffic sources – and completely shatter that dream within the first week of partnership. We understand chatting agencies are a universally hated subset of the OFM industry, and why wouldn’t they be?
The usual trajectory of a chatting agency is this: overbook clients, be forced to throw god-awful, poorly trained chatters onto your page (probably hired that same day from virtualstaff.ph, or worse, a telegram hiring chat), calm your nerves with the old ‘the chatters are just getting used to your fans and content,’ run out of reasonable excuses and you both part ways. Your LTVs have dropped, and the relationships with your whales are torched. The chatting agency has already booked 5 more clients and sold them the same dream they just sold you. Rapid turnover, sub-1 month average client retention, but a cool website and Telegram profile picture. That is the game they play & they have no incentive to change.
Now we could list all the reasons we are not sadastic, devil-worshipping scum. We could write out our full chatting philosophy, our hiring, filtering, and training procedures. We could write an essay titled ‘Our Interpretation of Simp Psychology’ and throw in buzzwords like ‘parasocial relationship,’ or ‘gender dynamics,’ maybe even a mathematical equation for PPV selling (P = V * T * B), for all the Goodnight John scholars reading this. But at the end of the day, a complex overview of our services will not convince you that we are different from the rest. What will convince you, is my 82% score on TDM’s Competency Test (https://topdrawerman.com/the-competency-test/) (I can send proof if needed). In all seriousness, what will convince you is a 30-minute call with me. If you walk away from that call, unconvinced in the robustness of our chatting systems, I will personally do a free page audit on a profile of your choice and point out optimisations that can be made.
We might not direct and choreograph short movies, donning serious suits and cigars, discussing serious business strategies, and emphasising the serious amounts of money we will make together. I do not drive a super car, or own a villa in Southern Europe where I spend 4 months of the year with my OF models. But we do work practically every single waking hour of the day. You will never be waiting for a response from me & I will never miss one of your calls (fucking try me). If you want a genuine partnership, where both parties are attempting to grow – to grind – together, I believe there is no better chatting agency out there.
If you have read all of this, and still won’t book a call, I can only assume you are a Communist, a moron, or Goodnight John.
